Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dreams are tricky bastards

I've been having some really fucked-up dreams lately, and I'm not sure what to do with them. It's probably connected to the incredible amount of pressure I've been under recently, and since there's nothing I can do about that anytime soon, I guess I'll just have to deal with it.

The weirdest one was where I was shooting a sex video with a flamboyant straight guy in a silver thong while a group of transsexuals pranced around. It was also a music video. The dream made it abundantly clear that the guy in the silver thong was straight, only he likes having sex with transsexuals. In the dream, I believed him.

A friend told me that dreams are a reflection of our subconscious. I told him that I'm pretty sure my subconscious is not telling me I really want to have sex with either transsexuals or flamboyant straight guys in silver thongs if that was what he was implying. He said nothing and looked away. I told him I'm already gay damnit. I don't need to make my sex life more complicated.

Another dream involved my nephews. They were drowning in tiny bathtubs. The dream focused on the small bubbles forming at the corners of their small, silent mouths.

That was a nightmare. I woke up, heart pounding, and almost threw up.

Then there was that dream 10 years ago, where I fell in love with a made-up man. Faceless, and always naked. In the dream I said I didn't want to wake up because I knew he would leave, and he said he will never leave me, and that I had to go. I woke up and felt my heart break.

He visited me again a few weeks ago. He was dressed this time in a yellow shirt and jeans, and he said it was nice to see me. I said I missed him, and accused him of breaking his promise. He smiled (or at least there was an aura of a smile, he was still faceless). I said I know you're a dream, I don't love you anymore. He said you don't love me not because I'm a dream, but because you already love someone else.

I woke up.

Dreams are tricky bastards.


  1. “Tell me one last thing,” said Harry. “Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?”
    “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

    dream is really a curious thing :D

  2. I suppose I should be grateful that sleep provides me no dreams of late.

    Or at least, none worth remembering.

  3. they say creative people dream in color, cause some people claim that they dream in black and white.

    the most lucid dream i've had involved me running away from a huge rolling ball. it crushed everything on its way and i just kept on running away.

  4. I agree with the tricky-bastard description coz sometimes, dreams adds up to our already confused mood. I asked my psychology-freak friend and she said dreams are manifestations of what we desire most, or just stress. whatever it is, I always find x-rated dreams really cool. :)
    BTW, that faceless guy in yellow maybe right - you're already in-love with someone else.

  5. @yas: I loved book 7 of hp. :-)

    @rudeboy: it isn't as bad as it sounds. just weird. a lot of wtf moments.

    @narnian: now that I think about it, i'm not sure if his shirt was yellow. I remember it was yellow though.

    @yodz: hahaha. with my dreams (at least the first two I wrote about), I'm pretty sure I do not desire that at all. :-)

  6. a friend of mine believes that a dream could either mean two things, one it could be your greatest desire or could be your greatest fear.



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