It was the glance I think,
which summarized our relationship. Half-imploring, and remarkably opposed to
the seemingly cool and confident words coming out of your mouth. And I realized
how to say what needs to be said can sometimes be the most impossible thing in
the world. To say the words directly requires the acceptance of responsibility,
and the idea that one is responsible for the truths one speaks can be daunting.
It requires one to be sincere, and in some instances, to be vulnerable. And who
wants to be vulnerable? It just opens you up to pain. So we spoke in a language
that operated in two spheres: "How was your day? The food is lovely,"
to mask the words we refuse to speak aloud, but which we also hope would be
understood. (I love you. Never
leave me.)
We spoke in riddles
to disconnect meaning from our mouths, instead hoping for a relationship that
transcended language, that transcended spirit, that transcended us.
This battle with vulnerability and fear have been at the heart of all my important relationships -- and that is over many decades. When words that have been spoken and then are not spoken again -- for me the words 'I love you' need to be heard and need to be said. But when I don't hear them I fear finally to say them myself. The silence deafens me.
ReplyDeletebeautiful prose. . .
ReplyDeleteLovely post, thanks!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece :) ...I love this line especially "to mask the words we refuse to speak aloud" :D
ReplyDeleteThis was an awesome piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteAwesome.. Now if it were only that easy right?! Love the post!
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful piece of writing. Gorgeous and so true.
ReplyDeleteWow! There is nothing more to say..you've said it pefectly!
ReplyDeletetalk about playing safe and not admitting how we truly feel to avoid being too involved..
ReplyDeleteWhat do people fear ? What is it that we do not want to loose? I like the way you reflect human nature in words:)
ReplyDeletesaying it is hard, feeling it is harder
ReplyDeleteThat road reminds me of Idaho.
ReplyDelete"To say the words directly requires the acceptance of responsibility, and the idea that one is responsible for the truths one speaks can be daunting."
ReplyDeleteIt is true... And the vulnerability that comes from words, make us feel that the silence is sometimes easier to endure than the pain that might come from them...
That is a beautiful piece of writing!
This seems so sincere. I love it.
ReplyDeleteWow, just wow.
ReplyDeleteloneislander literally robbed the words (or lack thereof) from my mouth
ReplyDeleteyou, my friend, simply blow my mind
amazing!
ReplyDeletejunesanjuan@blogspot.com
Officially, for the first time in the last year.. I am speechless! Brava!
ReplyDeletehttp://rabbitontherun.blogspot.com
This is stunning! And thank you, I prefer mine just above room temperature rather than cold. So comforting!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! I'm diggin' the Cattle Comics, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by The Soap and commenting. Comments are like little surprise parties- sometimes unexpected but always so much fun.
Drop by again sometime. soapboxers.blogspot.com
I really enjoyed this. Following you! (Thanks for stopping by my blog as well, I enjoyed the comment.)
ReplyDeletevery inspiring blog! maybe we could follow each other?? :) keep in touch..xxx
ReplyDeletehttp://www.chicefirock.blogspot.com
Amazing! <3 it!
ReplyDeleteThis post is so deep and dark that it's beyond beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI'm suddenly inspired to write better post! I wish I have that impressive writing skill that you posses though.
Keep em coming and keep on inspiring!
hotmessblogger.blogspot.com
very deep.. you write so well..=)
ReplyDelete