A
couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend Jt surprised me at my apartment with a box of
Royce chocolates. I was studying for the bar examinations then, so I wasn't
expecting him at all. Also, in the almost 3 years that we've been together,
he'd never done anything like that, so it was a pleasant experience.
(Back
story: He told me about an old date who used to surprise him in his apartment
with flowers. I jokingly asked him why he'd never done anything like that for
me. He said I've always told him I never liked flowers. I told him it wasn't
that I didn't like flowers, in fact I love them, I just don't see why you'd
give them as presents when they would die in a couple of days anyway. Hence,
the chocolate, and the surprise. I think he thought of it as a compromise.)
So,
anyway, there he was, and I practically squealed like a little girl (which,
uhm, I normally do not do.) Many hugs, many kisses, to the probable
embarrassment of my younger brother who lived with me, and his then visiting
boyfriend. Still, who cares? It was a nice gesture in a relationship that had
existed for practically forever (at least for me, my relationships before had a
short shelf life.)
Anyway,
I told this story to a few of my friends. My friend Chad told me that that was
cool, but then segued into an annoying ritual a co-worker of his did with his
boyfriend.
Apparently,
the officemate loved to update his status in Facebook with mushy messages and
public declarations of love directed to, of course, his lover. Which should be
okay, except he did it everyday. They also sent each other flowers everyday,
trying to top the bouquet the last one gave to the other, until the most
current bouquet grew to three dozen.
My
friend said that, though he thought they did love each other, these public
declarations of affection were more of a show for other people, and not really
a sincere effort on their part to show appreciation for the companionship one
offered to the other. I agreed at first, but now I think I must qualify. It is
probably both. They wanted to show appreciation, and they wanted to show off.
But who cares? That is what happiness does. It makes you goofy and mad.
We
also agreed that it's probably not a good idea to do something like that
everyday. At some point, it loses its value, and the person whom you shower
such presents would stop thinking of them as gifts, but would consider them as
entitlements. Which would not be a good thing. It's one thing to show appreciation,
and another thing to spoil.
Anyway,
a few days later, Jt showed up again on my doorstep, this time with a loaf of
banana bread from Cebu from this quaint bakery which I adore. I still
appreciated the gesture, but there was less fanfare. I told him about the
discussion I had with my friends, and he said he agreed. He confessed that he
was debating in his head earlier whether to surprise me or not because he
didn't know if I would appreciate the gesture as much. I told him he can
surprise me anytime he wants, and that for both our sakes, I would be the
appreciative boyfriend every time.
Photo
taken here.
