Thursday, February 17, 2011

Fond Memories


We were inseparable when we were young; like two peas in a pod, as they say. We liked the same things, and we spoke the same way. And in those common instances where we fought and shouted that we will never speak to each other again, we both knew that those wouldn't last, and we'd make up right before the day ends. Mostly because we'd want to play tag or hide-and-seek, and playing tag with yourself is really just sad. We were the best of friends.

It was fun while it lasted.
We were in high school when things started to change. He started hanging out with other kids, and whenever we were alone, there was this palpable awkwardness that hung in the air during our conversations. At some point, we became strangers to each other, and each sentence we uttered ended with an unspoken prayer that someone come and save us from this torturous situation.
 
I never really understood what happened. You might say we drifted apart, but to drift implies a certain longevity; this was more like a quick and quiet annihilation of a friendship. It seemed as if the changes happened overnight. As if I was suddenly a new person, or he was, or we both were, and we suddenly had no idea how to interact with each other.

At some point, I thought we stopped being friends.

Until I met him again a few months ago, on a street in front of my parents' house. Though the conversation felt forced and awkward, I realized I still harbored a certain fondness for this man, who was my best friend until our lives got in the way. And I realized that even if we can barely relate to each other now, the fact that we shared a close childhood friendship will always bind us until the end.

I remember a scene on a rice field. There were five of us, tumbling on a stack of hay. The wind blowing gently. The sky a rich blue, barely spotted with clouds. The sun hot on our skin. Our faces sweating, our laughter carrying over to the few houses farther away. And an afternoon that we wanted to go on forever.


Photo taken here.

31 comments:

  1. For the most part I feel like I will never make any great friends again. People from our younger days, they stick. I have friends (from Junior High School/High School) that I can't stand to be around. But I love them. Because they are part of me. My history.

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  2. Oh my have I had some friendships like that. When you grow up, you can grow apart.

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  3. I loved this piece! It's funny because some people are in our lives for such a short time but they become such fixtures in our memory. Thank you.

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  4. This reminds me so much of my own lost friend story
    (http://normaltoeatpb.blogspot.com/2011/02/detour-friend-gone.html)

    It's so sad to lose childhood friends, friend's you've had since before the barriers are put up and masks are put on. . .

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  5. This... hits a little too close to home, honestly.

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  6. its depressing to see friendship fall apart. its sad to realize the reality that alot of people will come and go and much as youd like to have them back, if they've decided or situation decided to, u cant do a thing but simply let go...hay, kakasad tong entry na to. naalala ko ang mga good friends ko na wala na ngayun...great post by the way

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  7. I think this is so normal. Some friendships are for a season and that is okay. They nourish something needed at that time in our lives. Others last a lifetime. Both are good.

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  8. I do love how your posts are so personal to you but manage to resonate with so many people. I often wonder what friends I had in the past are doing now. I don't imagine we would be friends now but I hope they are doing well.

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  9. I often wonder how I would feel if I ran into a certain friend again.
    I won't seek her out but if the universe intends it, it will happen

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  10. I know the feeling. I have lost so many childhood friends. All for different reasons I suppose.

    I'm so glad you stopped by my blog! I love making new blog friends, especially fellow writers. :)

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  11. Great story. Thank you for sharing it.

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  12. I think almost everyone has similar experiences, though mine started earlier, in middle school. I ran into one such former friend at a bar a few years ago, and in the middle of our conversation he stops, points at me, and yells: "Steve Guttenberg! You're Steve Guttenberg!"

    Obviously, he was wrong. And drunk. But the point is-- actually, I don't think I had a point. Carry on.

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  13. incredibly well written and simply beautiful!

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  14. Some times you go write or right to my heart. This did. Rich you for seeing life like yo do.

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  15. i used to have a friend like that. though we never tumbled on a haystack ... and never stumbled upon each other since 1989. still i'm thankful i got to have him as a childhood friend.

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  16. A nice post about friendships...sometimes, as you said, life gets in the way of friendships...I have a few friends with whom I feel that way...

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  17. Everyone experiences this type of pain....it's difficult, and at the wierdest moments you will think about someone you were once very close to as a child or teenager, and you haven't spoke to in forever. I have one of those ~ I know the relationship had some crappy moments, but I miss that person. I probably won't ever see her again since I live in a different city now, but who knows?

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  18. Isn't it strange how that happens to friends we think will be forever! I try to tell my nieces and nephews that when they stress over high school friends, but they'll get it one day.

    TalkativeTaurus.com

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  19. Hi, I just came here after reading your guest post on Simple Dude's blog. Very moving, I look forward to reading more.

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  20. I have experienced this too. It's like a small scar. One that only two people know about.
    Excellent post.

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  21. It's very natural for childhood friends to drift apart. Like you said, life gets in the way.

    Jai

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  22. Its sad when childhood friends grew apart because you'd never get that kind of connection later in life. Or almost never. I enjoyed your writing.

    New follower

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  23. Wow what a deep, touching piece. It's important to set aside some time to appreciate our friends for sure cuz life gets in the way far to often. SOmetimes friendships beauty has an evanescent quality to it. Like a firework. It's beautiful while it lasts but it doesn't last, forever you know!

    I wish i could be deep like you dude, but I'm much better at writing funny stories so I'll stick to what I know. Anyway you should come check the blog out sometime! If it doesn't make you laugh you get your money back!

    http://whatwouldjareddo.blogspot.com

    Check it out if you like/dislike: humor, pandas, gyms, snow, bratty little kids, using nudity and violence to solve problems, and knowing why dolphins are evil.

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  24. Friendship can be more enduring than a love affair, and usually when love ends, there is some kind of conclusion, but when a friend goes, someone who seemed an extension of who you are in this place in the world, often the friend just disappears, leaving a yearning that cannot be shaken. Thanks for this friend post.

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  25. there are so many ppl that i had crazy fun with when i was younger and i simply cant be around or spk to anymore we are such different ppl now but i think it is more my fault than anyone else...i'm the one with the huge changes in my life

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  26. Very nice and deeply emotional writing. It does cause some pain though as you go through life, and you realize you no longer have your best friend from your younger days.

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