Migs the Manila Gay Guy got an e-mail
from a letter sender named Jake, which I thought was one of the worst
things I have heard happen to a guy. Here's the part of his story that made me
furious:
I
met a guy, a professional bodybuilder. Big, strong, healthy-looking. We went
out and like an idiot, I let him bareback me several times. He told me
YESTERDAY that he’s been HIV+ since 2007. I nearly killed him. I’m still
cleaning the blood off my floor and furniture. And the weird thing is, that’s
the first time in my life I’ve ever laid a hand on another human being in
anger.
I don't blame Jake. I probably would have killed the guy. It's one thing to infect another person with HIV, and quite another thing to KNOWINGLY infect a person with the disease. Fine, the rule is that you don't do bareback, period. Ok, we get that. But the bigger, more important, and so freakishly-obvious-I-don't-even-understand-why-it-needs-to-be-said rule is that you do not have unprotected sex with another person when you know you have HIV. In that case, you aren't just an idiot, you are a despicable human being that deserves no pity from anyone. You are evil.
I don't blame Jake. I probably would have killed the guy. It's one thing to infect another person with HIV, and quite another thing to KNOWINGLY infect a person with the disease. Fine, the rule is that you don't do bareback, period. Ok, we get that. But the bigger, more important, and so freakishly-obvious-I-don't-even-understand-why-it-needs-to-be-said rule is that you do not have unprotected sex with another person when you know you have HIV. In that case, you aren't just an idiot, you are a despicable human being that deserves no pity from anyone. You are evil.
My heart goes out to Jake who made a mistake in trusting someone he really shouldn't have trusted, and who is now paying a terrible price. What the guy did to him was nothing short of attempted murder. It had all the hallmarks of the crime: evil intent, treachery, infliction of serious physical injuries. One does not always need a knife or a gun to kill.
Photo taken here.
***
On to nicer topics.
So it's Valentine's Day once again, and the only thing running through my head right now is how broke I am. On the one hand, I think it's fantastic to show your affection by buying your loved one cool and expensive gifts (who doesn't like gifts?); on the other hand, I kind of feel like I'm being manipulated by capitalist forces beyond my ken.
Of course, I always end up spending more than what I should spend. Take for example earlier, where I spent four times more than what I planned.
Damn you capitalist forces, I cannot win. I always bow down to your masterful manipulation.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Or rather, Happy Suckers-who-fall-for-genius-marketing-and-consumerism Day everyone.
Tip to make this day easier for those who spend more than they should: Embrace the dark side (of shopping). It's true, we are suckers, but we also have more fun. And, regardless of what anyone tells you, a little fun is
that was indeed infuriating... damn.
ReplyDelete@fickle cattle: I had the same initial reaction that you did, however...after re-reading Jake's letter, I'm not too sure if the guy did infect him knowingly. In other word's, Jake never mentioned when did they have unprotected sex, nor did the guy say he knew he was positive since 2007 or was that he was probably positive since 2007 and only found out recently. If he did so knowingly, well he is the scum of the earth.... If he didn't, he too deserves some compassion. Be Safe. Always.
ReplyDeleteI would have killed the guy as well. That was quite irresponsible of the King Kong Barbie.
ReplyDeletehappy v day! :)
ReplyDeletei gave in as well...bought flowers for the special women of my life etc.
ReplyDelete.
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re the HIV story, i can't believe someone is capable of doing that. how horrible!
.
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anyway, happy valentine's day FC!
I've actually seen news accounts here in the US of people who have been prosecuted for having unprotected sex when they know they are HIV+. That's horrifying.
ReplyDeleteOn a brighter note: Happy Valentine's Day!
Thank you so much for the much need shopping justification :)
ReplyDeletewell, i had to do jury once and there was a case (not mine, i had murder.. eek) where a man knowingly gave a woman HIV and he was convicted of attempted murder...
ReplyDeleteHappy V-Day FC... Even something as simple as a homemade card shows how much you love someone.
The thought of what that person did to Jake chilled me to my bones. It's evil. I hope that Jake gets tested and that's escaped the danger.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time you're right that we have to protect ourselves using common sense. Unprotected sex with anyone at this point is a very foolish thing.
Jai
That story just chilled me to the bone! I would report him to the police, I would spend my life making him pay!!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst part of post - yuk! second part of post - washed the taste out of my mouth from the first part. . . anywho, i chose to write about my prom today, check it out!
ReplyDeletehttp://normaltoeatpb.blogspot.com/2011/02/prom-night.html
It is a crime to knowingly infect someone with HIV (here in the UK anyway, not sure about other places). It's classed as GBH, even when the sex is consensual. See R v Dica.
ReplyDeleteA sobering tale, there is a thing that is wonderful in living dangerously and there is quite another in living recklessly. I prefer to skirt the line of danger and write about it later - I prefer to not live recklessly as I know where it ends you. What difference is it if the lover had used a syringe to infect rather than his dick - a syringe would be a crime, punishable by law and using your dick... well the laws do not cover it and they will not any time soon.
ReplyDeleteSome guys can be truly heartless...they don't deserve to live, if you ask me...And Happy Valentine's Day to you too...you don't have to get expensive gifts...a hug would do equally good...it's the thought that counts, remember?
ReplyDeleteWell that just sucks. Honestly- I think there needs to be laws against this kind of thing. We should be able to prosecute people who knowingly infect others. And let's just hope that by some small miracle he escapes that fate because if it were me I couldn't be held accountable for what I'd do. BUT let that be a lesson-- always use protection.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog! I´m following you!
ReplyDeleteFollow my blog:
http://questoesdefutebol.blogspot.com/
That is awful. And V-Day is def just another day to try and make us spend money we dont have. Bastards!
ReplyDeleteJake should sue that guy. That is so terrible that he would do that! Grrrrr.
ReplyDeleteThe Adorkable Ditz' Missteps
thankfully, it is the courts hearing evidence by adversarial parties strictly construing the penal code and appellate courts that decide what attempted murder is and not empathetic impulses. if i kiss someone knowing i have strep throat, and the person almost dies from complications to do strep infection, can i be found guilty of attempted murder? absurd.
ReplyDeleteyour line of reasoning has been used by fascist prosecutors and legislators all over the world to find ways to incarcerate and penalize those who are HIV positive.
criminalizing sexual activity is not the answer. education and free condoms are.
@line: who said anything about criminalizing sexual activity? Read it again.
ReplyDeleteI said that all the legal elements of attempted murder are there: treachery for one (the partner did not disclose his sickness which was HIV), or premeditation (he knew his partner would contract HIV if he has sex with him bareback), and serious physical injuries (HIV IS a serious physical injury, and would definitely fall under the definition of 'serious physical injury' under the RPC).
P.S. Re: strep throat: Really? We're now comparing HIV and strep throat?
Two things make this criminal: omission and intent. He knew he had HIV, failed to disclose that sickness, and still had bareback sex with a guy, with the full knowledge that his act would most likely transfer the disease. If you want to imply my fascism by thinking that a person who would do such a thing is a monster and deserves to be punished, then I'd gladly take the description you give.
ReplyDeleteyou are making a whole host of unwarranted assumptions that I doubt you have evidence to support "full knowledge that his act would most likely transfer the disease" ... what evidence would you proffer to support that conclusion?
ReplyDeleteyou argument in attempting to make the HIV+ person the sole bad guy here is your dear friend is also a responsible adult and had numerous opportunities to protect himself.
the problem however is we have a conference of bishops and other fascist reactionaries that are intent on keeping everyone as ignorant as possible so that we continue to suffer overpopulation and world-record breaking growth in HIV infections. that is the tragedy of this story.
i understand the underlying question you have: whether one owes a duty to another to disclose his HIV infection. my answer would be yes. the breach of that duty is likely negligent and if there was an intent to harm, then i would agree that some measure of punitive/moral damages would be appropriate.
but the conclusion you make, that such conduct, which I agree is at least negligent, rises to the level of attempted murder, is just not supported. there are ample provisions of the penal code that one could arguably prosecute him under, but attempted murder is not one of them. but as a matter of public policy, do the facts warrant such an extension of the penal code to this situation? the answer is yes, only if we are to accept the model of infantile sexuality the CBCP and other reactionaries wishes to keep us in forever. every adult must be responsible for his sexual acts and must assume that unless he knows, which he can't, all sexual partners have some incurable contagious infection. your dear friend has a responsibility here that the penal code should not be extended to exempt.
@line: so we agree to disagree then.
ReplyDeletereasonable people can differ. that's why we have a legislative branch. =)
ReplyDeletei'm glad you did the light hearted vals day thing coz i was fuming when i read bout what happened to jake
ReplyDelete