Thursday, November 25, 2010

Perspectives




I was with my friend Toph one night, driving along a stretch of highway, when he asked me to drop by the house he bought for his mom in Taguig. He wanted to visit her. I obliged; it wasn't that often that Toph manages to find time in his busy schedule to visit his mom, and I figured I had some to spare.

It was two hours before midnight when we got there, and we practically had to wake the whole household to get in. We made our way into the living room. I sat on the sofa, admiring the cool light fixture attached to the ceiling, four half globes set on a large wooden square, while Toph promptly left and made his way up to his mom's bedroom. I heard several voices; I figured his nieces, who were also living in the same house, were probably awake by now too. I didn't know what was happening, but there was a palpable excitement in the air.

Then everyone came down, and with their loud voices, you'd think they've been patiently waiting for Toph rather than being rudely awakened in the middle of the night. One niece asked for a dress from his uncle for the prom, and he said, with a smirk and a small twinkle in his eye, that he would think about it. His mom was very affectionate, constantly touching her son's cheek with an exclamation about how gwapo (handsome) his son had become.

More than the fuss over him, what amazed me was how soft Toph seemed. How human. It was as if all barriers around him were brought down, and now there was just him. It was as if I was seeing Toph, the true Toph, for the first time.

It was a remarkably touching scene, and reflected an aspect of my friend's life I wasn't familiar with. I love Toph, but he can be a bit arrogant. The arrogance has basis though; he is a self-made man, who managed to wrangle some success for himself despite the extreme poverty he inherited. Though to some he may seem abrasive, to me it is merely the tenacity of an individual unwilling to succumb to the low expectations of his community. He once told me that he knew, even as a child, that he would never allow his circumstances to define him. He believed, no, he knew that he was more than the poverty he was born into.

We didn't stay long, although we did stay long enough for Toph's mom to show me a few photographs. Her lined face seemed to be set in a perpetual smile. I realized it was because her favorite son was home. I smiled politely, and tried to be as sociable as I could. Still, I felt like I was intruding into something terribly personal.

We were quiet on the ride back, although, as it usually is with close friends, it was a warm, comfortable silence that felt natural and apt. Toph broke the silence when he told me that when he was younger, especially during the first few years when he was still trying to make his mark in the world, he was very insecure about two things: his looks, and his poverty. He made some bad decisions because of it, but as he grew up, he realized there were more important things, and that he didn't really have to prove anything to anyone. He said he was finished proving himself to everyone. He was himself, and he knew that that was all that mattered.


Photo taken here.

35 comments:

  1. awwwwww. how sweet! walang maton maton pag dating sa family. hihi :)

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  2. Everyone needs to be themselves. Sometimes it just takes some time for people to realize who they really are.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  3. I'm glad he figured out not to be embarassed by his circumstances. I don't think poverty is embarassing. To allow yourself to be held back by it, that is the embarassment.
    A very touching blog.

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  4. "...a warm, comfortable silence that felt natural and apt" so true.

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  5. this is a very touching post...i think it says just as much about you as it does Toph. :)

    You're an amazing writer. Truly. I made it a point a week or so ago to visit your blog more often, because of it, and I sure don't regret it. :)

    You're fantastic. :)

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  6. a talent such as yours is rare indeed. the story weaves the dynamics without the need of hyperbolic description...i feel the interaction as if i were riding and visiting with you...

    bruce

    bruceejohnsonjadip.blogspot.com

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  7. Love, Be Loved, Find Yourself, Be Yourself; Show it all to family and close friends.

    That is great advice.

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  8. Your friend sounds like an interesting character. Great story.

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  9. bravo for Toph. Everything worth anything has to need effort. i like that he's a self-made man. however, i'm curious. why would you say he made a "bad decision" regarding his looks (and poverty)?

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  10. Thanks for the comments everyone. Keep them coming. :-)

    @Sonia: I meant he made bad decisions because he was insecure about his looks and (lack of) wealth. I can't really elaborate more on that without divulging some secrets. :-)

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  11. That's a really nice story and very well written. I am touched.

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  12. sweet and interesting story.
    really love your writing.

    can't wait to read the next one

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  13. So beautiful and so true..there indeed comes a time in life..when we stop proving ourselves to other..and just realize ourselves..
    amazing piece...
    BH

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  14. wow...nice one..poverty plus beauty = deadly...

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  15. wow! that was such a sweet SWEET time you had there..

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  16. Wow amazing blog and news..

    Good job dear..

    All sweet from sweet mind person.. really well..

    keep in touch to see you..

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  17. Galing nyo po magsulat. Sana ma-inherit ko ang skills nyo sa pagbabasa ng blog mo.

    Touching story by the way.

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  18. Unfortunately, many times we can only show our real selves to a handful of people, but those are the relationships that truly matter in life. Great picture.

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  19. So sweet and honest! Great post!

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  20. i was move on the words... finish proving himself... waaah!

    i want too!!! >.<

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  21. That's a serious bit of wisdom he imparted to you. Life is too short to try to prove anything to anyone. We only have to do what we believe is right and be at peace with that.

    Jai

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  22. loved this post, everything he said is so so true. Thanks for dropping by my blog and leaving a comment, was really chuffed :-)

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  23. You had me at "guapo". :) Thanks for reading my blog, too. I appreciate the feedback. (www.brushesleavesandcloth.blogspot.com)

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  24. It's nice to be able to see another layer of someone you thought you already knew. Thanks for sharing this.

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  25. A magnificent post with a fantastic photo!!!

    Beautiful. How talented you are.

    Cheers, JJ

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