The worst thing about growing up is how complicated things can be. I miss those days when I can honestly say when something is wrong or right, without having to consider the nuances of the situation. Things are just too complicated right now, and for the first time, my instinct is telling me to shut up. Which is weird, since I rarely shut up.
I'm sorry for not blogging in a long long time. Work is keeping me insanely busy with 12-hour workdays, skipped lunches, and general insanity. That's another bad thing about growing up: the fact that you have to work to actually live. Where's that millionaire benefactor when you need one?
Don't get me wrong, I actually like my job. The only problem, well, from my perspective at least, is that it is the type of job that forces you to choose between it and your personal life. The only way I can be good at it is to practically forego everything else. Which is what seems to be happening lately. I wish I knew what to do.
And loyalties. My god, I hate being stuck in the difficult situation of having to choose between two friends. Where choosing to do the right thing for one means being disloyal to the other. I'm starting to understand why doing the right thing sometimes sucks. Sometimes, it could cost you a valuable friendship.
Things will work out I'm sure. They always do. I'm just worried that by the time the dust settles, I would see a landscape that is strange and unfamiliar.
Actually, that's how things feel now. So really, how bad could things get?
Please don't answer that. That was rhetorical. I know things could actually get worse. Stupid life.