Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Body Issues


When I was a teenager, I hated how I look. I hated how my hair seemed so straight and wiry, how high my forehead was, how far apart my eyes were. I especially hated my nose, which I thought seemed so flat and squishy. I looked a lot like my father, and I sometimes resented the fact that I inherited a lot of his physical attributes. 

So, like any other kid going through puberty, I had a lot of insecurities. And the fact that my skin decided at that particular point to break out with a gajillion pimples just seemed like extra unnecessary crap piled onto an already steaming mound known as my life. 

I'm not sure when I decided to embrace my features. But I remember a particular moment, when I was walking by a mirror one day, and noticing the slight hunch of my shoulders, and the way I seemed to drag my footsteps. I remember thinking that just because I hated the way I look, it didn't mean I actually had to look like I was the most hatefully ugly creature in the world. So I made a mental note to make sure I stand a little straighter, and I carry myself as if I thought I was gorgeous. It took a while before I got used to pushing my shoulders back, and carrying my feet, but at some point I learned how to, and that was when I changed. 

The change was mostly internal I think. A shifting of perspective. Days where I looked at the mirror and thought, "I don't look so bad". Or moments when I felt that I totally rocked. My confidence grew, and I started really liking how I looked, how different I seemed to be from any other person. It was then that I realized I actually liked being me, and that I really had nothing to complain about. 

Then one day, I realized how lucky I was. I wasn't perfect, but the imperfections made me feel more, well, me. And I loved the idea that, maybe, I was created exactly as I should be. 


Photo taken here.

39 comments:

  1. One of my favourite greetings cards bears the line: "Be yourself. Everybody else is already taken."

    Any moment I falter(and goodness, don't we all?) in being happy just being me, I remind myself of that card.

    So here is me, saying hello and Happy New Year to you Fickle Cattle, just fine the way we are.

    E x

    http://philosopher-without-a-cause.blogspot.com/

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  2. Same story, different part of the world. I still have insecurities, but then, its become more of a this-is-how-I-am-and-its-me kind of way. But when I look in a mirror, more often than not, I absolutely LOVE me :D

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  3. this post is something that should be shared with ALL teenage girls...I love how you described how you felt back then and your ultimate INTERNAL transformation into a beautiful butterfly!

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  4. great post i think we all have insecurities as kids unfortnately for some of us we never quite out grow them

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  5. Instant boosting of self-esteem guaranteed after reading this post.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  6. Amen to that! It takes time, but soon I think we see it clearly.

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  7. I can agree with you.

    Now I have embraced my beer gut.

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  8. "The secret of happiness is contentment." I keep telling that to myself. Because if I don't, the very first door to open in front of me would be the seven deadly sins. Yikes. So, it's indeed a practice. You alone can help yourself to feel great, to look great, to be great. Everyday, life is a learning process.

    http://brownbugz.blogspot.com

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  9. Fickle. great job! I think everyone has to get to that point. Even the drop dead gorgeous have to realize they are just that!

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  10. I think I'm in that transition in my life...The one you described. I'm starting to carry myself in a more confident way...I love it.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  11. our imperfections are what makes us perfect =)

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  12. We are always are own worst critic and only see our faults rather than the beauty we portray to the world.

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  13. You, my friend, are one inspirational dude.

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  14. You and everybody should always feel pretty no matter what. I've been always raising my back.. and even if people notice how getting fatter I get everyday.. sometime I pretend I don't care... and they think I'm confident and even if I did pretend on the first place.. I feel like.. I think I'm really confident with myself.

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  15. It took me until the age of 42 to come to a point where I was at peace with my body issues. I'm one of those people about whome you would say "such a pretty face, if only she would lose weight"! Seriously, I had a so-called friend say that to me.

    A couple of years ago a wonderful man decided to love me for who I am. He gets cranky with my insecurities, and makes me realise that I am more than just an overweight pretty face.

    Breast cancer has also helped me in a weird way, allowing me to realise that as long as I'm alive and contributing to the world around me, it doesn't matter a damn what I look like.

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  16. Great post! (and I love the photo too) I'm glad that you have come to appreciate your form. For me, I've found as I've gotten older, I have far less energy to expend on my looks. Though, in my teens and early twenties it was another story. It seems I was constantly trying to keep up. I suppose now if I had a job or something where my looks were key, like say...a stripper...then maybe I'd put more effort in. I guess that's one small fringe benefit of a career in education...
    ; )

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  17. best reflection i have read.

    sabi nga ni chokoleit at vice ganda, "lahat naman ng tao ay may itsura, depende lang sa katabi". but i think, if you look good but you don't have the confidence and right attitude, you'll end up looking like what other people see as "ugly".

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  18. Most of us were insecure with our looks during our teens. If we're lucky acceptance comes with age.

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  19. I love this post. One of the most important things we can do for our health and wellbeing is to accept who and what we are and appreciate who and what we are. Then everything else falls into place.

    Jai

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  20. me likey ze photo. me likey ze post.

    me likey you.

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  21. Happiness is always an inside job!

    Great post.

    Jenny

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  22. excellent post!! VERY MUCH inspirational. i find myself walking with my shoulders turned down cause i feel slothy w/ my recent weight gain.

    now that i know i don't have to look like a beached whale, i can definitely walk straighter!

    ***ladyvader99.blogspot.com***

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  23. Good post! Being short used to bug me. And then it happened: I was at a bar with a tall friend of mine. She spied a good-looking guy across the room and said, "Ooooh, he's cute! I'm going to ask him to dance". She returned to our table a few minutes later, alone. When I asked her what happened, she said, "He's too short". I said, "Oh, really? Where is he?" After that, I didn't mind being short.

    http://soapboxvirtual.blogspot.com/

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  24. Every child and teen feels different, so don't feel badly. You are unique and lovely. I ran into a "Popular Girl" the other dayl one of the beautiful cheerleader types. She felt like an outcast as a teen as well.

    Embrace all of you! :)

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  25. Seems like most of the teenagers go through that stage, myself included.To be honest, I still fight with insecurity over how I look sometimes.

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  26. That's the worst stage; the teenage years. I remember being so self conscious when I was younger. I think it's just the awkwardness of not knowing who you are as well.

    visions unto myself

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  27. Proper posture makes a world of difference.

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  28. I love this story, being 17 this definitely inspires a 'light at the end of the tunnel' perspective. Thank you!

    http://amystocker.blogspot.com/

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  29. Yes ... it takes a while but being grateful for our bodies and how they are these amazing "inventions!" Amen sister!

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  30. Bravo! This should be read by all the kids on the brink of men/women.

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  31. bang on the button - it's all about being confident about who you are - warts and all

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  32. This really needs to be taught in all high schools,

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  33. ei FC... you're right, a simple change in perspective works wonders... makes me smile more... and we are most beautiful when we smile...

    PS: You look good... I never got to tell you this but I've always thought that you do... way back college days... :)

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  34. Sometimes all you need to feel beautiful is to think that you are beautiful. Cheers to the beauty that we all possess!

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