When
I first started dating as an openly gay man, I turned to television shows for
rules. Because I felt that rules were important. And because I had no clue what
I was doing.
So,
you start out with the "no kissing on the first date" rule, which
really just works on the heterosexuals (I'm not sure about the lesbians). Gay
guys are like bunnies. Kissing is important.
That
rule transformed into the "no sex on the first date" rule. Which I
managed to follow for a time. Until I realized that gay guys are like bunnies.
Sex is important. (And I'm a gay guy, just to remind you).
Which
metamorphosed into a third rule: "I will only have sex with you if I like
you" rule. Which I've broken so many times it became crazy-stupid. Gay
guys are like bunnies. And it gets worse when you're drunk and in the mercy of
beer goggles.
Then
I stopped having rules altogether. Which is a disaster. Not having rules is an
invitation to heartbreak. You fall in love and emotionally connect to soulless
automatons that vaguely resemble humans, and break the hearts of good people
just looking for someone to connect with. So, we're back to square one. Rules
are important.
When
I met Jt, I had made up another rule. It was the "I will not get into
a relationship with someone while I'm in law school because I will break down
and cry from the pressure of both school and the relationship and I don't want
to have a nervous breakdown and I promise to the universe this will only be
about sex" rule. I broke that one. And I've never been happier.
So
what's my point? My point is that dating rules are important. But make sure
they never get in the way of your happiness.
Here's
another one. I really can't make up your rules for you. No one can.
