During a casual dinner
in Rockwell with a few friends, my friend Monina asked, somewhat arbitrarily, “What
differentiates millenials from everyone else exactly?”
I had some thoughts on
the subject, and shared them with the group. In trying to sum up the defining
characteristic of a generation of people (which, notwithstanding the
countless articles on this matter, is still a daunting if ultimately pointless
exercise), I explained to Mon a theory I’ve been developing.
“Young people tend to
frame life experiences through its impact on their personal happiness. Which is why, say, when you’re talking to
them about a job, the issues they usually raise is a general discontentment, or
a lack of passion, or a feeling that the work they’re doing is not what they
are supposed to be doing. And when you frame this against the concerns of older
professionals working with millennials, the criticism that usually crops up is the
typical millenial’s propensity to quit and move around. What about reliability,
they would ask. What about faithfulness?”
***
When I was younger, my
friend Percy once told me that he didn’t believe in long-term relationships. He
explained that, once the initial thrill (“kilig”) of the romance is gone, he
gets restless and moves on. He mentioned that there’s no point
continuing the relationship because the people involved tend to stay the same,
or worse, stagnate.
But what about love, I
asked.
“It dissipates.”
“Then maybe you weren’t
really in love in the first place.”
“Maybe, but who are we
to say what love is or isn’t,” Percy argued. As far as he was concerned, he
loved the people he was with, fully and completely, until he didn’t love them
anymore.
***
When I was still living
with my parents, my mom and I would sometimes find ourselves around midnight in
our kitchen, while we’re both trying to scrounge up some leftovers because we
were feeling hungry. And most of the time we’ll sit down and talk. Sometimes
she’ll open up about her relationship with my dad.
And she’ll talk about
promises kept and promises broken, and happiness and loneliness and sadness. But
always, she will mention obligation, and responsibility.
“Your father is not a
perfect man. God knows he is not the best husband. But he is responsible, and
kind, and he is a good father.” And though she never said it, she obviously
held a lot of love for my dad, even if the love has been re-forged and
concealed by disappointment and some bitterness.
She mentioned that she
tried to leave once, but that she thought about how it would
affect her kids and decided not to. What was left unsaid, but was clear as day, was that she
thought about how it would affect my dad too.
***
When my ex broke up
with me, he said it was because he was not
sure if he still loved me. What we had in the beginning is no longer there, he
explained, and he felt we owed it to ourselves to look for something more.
But what about devotion,
my mind asked. What about keeping promises? What about loyalty?
And if I was brave
enough to voice my thoughts, he might have answered, “What about happiness?
What about romance? What about passion?”
Ultimately, what about
love?
And in remembering I think of two souls imagining love as two flames, one burning brighter than the midday sun, and another flickering, trembling, a light in the darkness.
Photo taken here.
i find the narrative very intimate. and the last line is just perfect.
ReplyDelete"And in remembering I think of two souls imagining love as two flames, one burning brighter than the midday sun, and another flickering, trembling, a light in the darkness."
Thank you. :)
DeleteForgive me for asking, but is the author behind this blog the same author as before? I'm only asking because you've disappeared for several years. If it is the same person, welcome back!
ReplyDeleteYep. :)
Deletewelcome back fickle! looking forward to read more of your posts
ReplyDeletewelcome back..one of the first few blogs that I followed waaay back
ReplyDeleteWow.
ReplyDelete