The first time I encountered the word myth was in the context of
my English class, discussed as a traditional sacred story, a form of
literature, which usually expounds on the acts of gods and goddesses, and which
attempts to explain social practices or other natural phenomenon. The literary
form expands the natural world into something else which is remarkable and
extraordinary; a supernatural thing that goes beyond the mundane.
A few years ago, my friend Chris, a public relations specialist,
introduced me to the concept of “myth-making”, or the power of an individual to
create his own reality. He underscores the power of perception (rather, what is
perceived) as something that will ultimately define a person. He says that
every person has two aspects: the “real” one, and what is perceived. The two
realities blur sometimes, so much so that one cannot delineate what is real
with what is illusory, but he emphasizes that the need to delineate is
unimportant: both define the type of person one is going to be.
This idea reminds me of an aspect of astrology which not a lot
of people are familiar with. There is the zodiac, or the sun sign, which
supposedly defines who a person is. Most of us are familiar with this concept.
Then there is the moon sign, which supposedly defines how a person is perceived.
The two are not usually the same, so a person can be an Aries, but is perceived
as a Sagittarius. According to my reading (which I got online), I am a Cancer
(adaptable, moody, loyal) but is perceived as an Aries (courageous, impulsive,
confident). Those two signs are usually as different as they get.
I don’t know how true those readings are, but I just wanted to
underscore the difference between one’s “real” personality, and what is
perceived. It is rare that the two are the same.
This idea has many real-world applications. In high school
specifically, you are usually defined by how your peers perceive you. If your
peers see you as a “loser”, then you begin to think of your reality as that of
a “loser”, notwithstanding your many wonderful qualities. When you think about
it, it sounds silly, but I personally believe it’s the truth. We are defined in
two ways: by our own choices, and by the context (read: perception) society
imposes on us.
This is probably why we try so hard to gain some control over
how we are perceived. As much as we wish that only we could create the terms
for our own life, we know that that is impossible. We are as much a prisoner of
our current social context as everyone else. We try to make sure that how we
are perceived is the same as how we feel about ourselves, and we try to limit
the incongruence, but we can only do so much. We really do not have that much
of a choice on the matter, except to that part which we can change about
ourselves.
Which is where my friend Chris’ advice comes in, which I think
is one of the best advice I have ever gotten in my life. This isn’t his words,
but I hope to distill through a metaphor what we have discussed and debated and
lived as a life philosophy for years. I hope you find as much wisdom in it as I
did.
We are pebbles, but we must aim to feel and look like mountains. Create your reality by controlling (as much as you can) how you are perceived. At the worst, we will be mistaken for boulders or hills, but those are still significantly larger than the tiny stones people will easily discard or throw away. At some point, you will find that you have become a boulder, or a hill, or a mountain, for real.
Very very true. One of my main reasons for wanting to leave my home town is because I felt I had already been labeled a "loser" by everyone who knew me. I'm pretty sure I actually was for a good part of my adolescence, but as I grew I couldn't seem to shake off the perception everyone seemed to have of me. I had changed, and no longer felt I fit into the mold everyone had cast me in.
ReplyDeletetrue, its a matter of perception, start believing and living like it is, and it happens.
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful metaphor. It is so difficult to change negative thinking into positive thinking...but it can be done!
ReplyDeletewise words and very true; my adult life has been one challenge after another as, as a creative, i have continually refused to live my life as most do. only the other day i had a major bust up with my parents who judge me to be a loser despite so many obvious signs of success; round peg square hole. it hurts to be misinterpreted but hell i ain't no loser and it is they who ultimately lose my respect.
ReplyDeleteps fickle cow i have a giveaway chez moi which requires a witty and creative imput; i just know you'd be way apart with your quirky slant, please pass by...
Attempting to equalize our self-estimation with social perception is the stuff of which experience is made.
ReplyDelete...it's certainly an adventure!
-c
very interesting thoughts. as I've gotten older, I've found it less and less important how I'm perceived by others and more important how I feel about myself, but it takes a long time and many experiences to get to that point. "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved this post. It is always so hard to put definition to the feelings we experience with those around us. This was a very clear and beautifully written explanation.
ReplyDeletei went and found my moon sign like you did and i felt it fit more with how i see myself than the actual sun sign.
ReplyDeletebeing the social person that i am, i find that if only i could be content to be alone then my life wouldn't be so lonesome. but i am who i am and i need the things that i need.
very interesting blog;0)
Fantastic sentiment. Sometimes it's hard to keep sights on yourself in the face of others' twisted perceptions.
ReplyDeleteThat's why as a parent, if thought about, the responsibility is impossibly daunting: children learn or 'receive' their perceptions of themselves and the world around them from their main care-takers...the damage that can be done!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, particularly as a young adult, I can remember moments of being shocked, surprised and indeed irritated(!) when I discovered how I was being perceived sometimes.
At this stage in my life, I think I have decided not to even think about how I might be perceived, but instead to focus my energy, come hell or highwater, on just being myself. Strangely, easier said than done sometimes.
Good thoughts. Thank you. E x
http://philosopher-without-a-cause.blogspot.com/
Fantastic post.
ReplyDeleteWhat you say is so very true - reminds me of the expression "fake it 'til you make it".
I find that others generally perceive me in a much more complimentary light than I see my own self. I am working on it, but it is hard.
It also terrifies me that I may screw up my future children inadvertently as well.
One of the things I've always believed in is to not worry about how others percieve me. It's too much work and life is too short.
ReplyDeleteI'm a Gemini but my moon sign is Pisces and it's true that many people percieve me as more dreamy and unpractical than I am. It makes me smile more than anything else.
Jai
I'm a pebble but I can be a mountain... we really hate being labeled by other people for things that we are not.. i love this topic... hmmm...
ReplyDeletethere are many truths and sometimes [or maybe often]only an angle of it is viewed, hence the perceived part
ReplyDelete.
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if i've read this before when i was in my teens, i would say no one knows you better than yourself. but now at the age of 23, i ask who could really define us?
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now i do think not even our own selves. just my thoughts =)
I love this post. I've been feeling that way more often than usual lately. :)
ReplyDeletesome times,we give more importance to what others think about us than what we think about ourselves...the way I look at it...every pebble has the potential to be a mountain...once it decides that it wants to be the mountain! Amazing post...
ReplyDelete""The challenge is to be yourself in a world that's trying to get you to be like everyone else."
ReplyDeleteOne of the joys of becoming older is that the perceptions of others matter less and less. Aging can be thought of as a distilling process, you end up arriving at the raw elements of self. It's a liberating process, when the opinions of others can be considered carefully- but never govern who you are. I'm not sure anyone can be truly happy in the absence of an authentic acceptance of self
ReplyDeleteAmazing and well spoken blog. Leep the quality work up
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher I would like all my students to read this blog. I am sure their eyes would be opened!
ReplyDeleteTrue, and the picture really goes well with your words in this entry. haha.
ReplyDeleteI think if we keep repeating an idea in our heads, that's what we become...so, in practice, if others perceive us in a way we don't want to, it's not final. How we psyche ourselves up to go for what we really want will be the conclusive factor anyway.
Great post. :-)
supporting!
ReplyDeletethat picture is completely awesome...
ReplyDelete