“I
left him because he was cheating on me.”
“How
did you find out?”
“You
just know. It's...I can't explain it. The way he seems so fidgety when I
catch him surfing on a computer late at night, or when he tells me he's
visiting his parents and it felt like a lie, or when he's just uneasy around
restaurants or public areas. A lot of small things really. They just added up
into this one huge thing. Then I checked his phone messages and found out for
real.”
“What
did you do?”
“I
told the guard at my apartment building to never let him up. I then called him
and told him I was breaking up with him because he was unfaithful.”
“And?”
“Well,
it’s not as easy as I’m telling it right now. It hurt like hell at the time,
and I had to grieve in my own private way, but I needed to do it you know? For
myself? In the end, I realized my dignity was more important.”
***
“When
I found out about it, I honestly didn’t know what to do. At some point, I felt
like I wanted to kill him.”
“But
why did you stay?”
“Because
I love him. And he reassured me that at the end of the day, I was still the
most important person in his life. The others were just flings. Random
encounters.”
“You
believed him?”
“Well,
yes. I know it sounds silly, but I really do.”
“Ok,
I respect that, but how do you feel?”
“I
feel hurt a lot of times, especially when I don’t know where he is, or why he
isn’t texting, or when he says he’s out with friends. I also feel paranoid and
insecure. But I love him, and the idea of him leaving me…I can’t stand it.”
“How
about the idea of you leaving him?”
“Honestly,
it never even crossed my mind. Well, maybe once or twice. But mostly, I just
feel grateful he’s there.”
***
“Cheating
is only cheating if it is against the rules in the first place. When you both
accept the idea that it is impossible to be in a monogamous relationship in the
first place, without either or both parties straying at some point, then the
easier everything will be. You just have to make allowances really.”
“That
seems awfully cynical.”
“And
true. Honestly, for me, I wouldn’t really mind if my husband strayed as long
as: a) I never catch him, b) he doesn’t get some girl pregnant, and c) he
doesn’t come home with some venereal disease and infects me with it. Ignorance
is key.”
“I
think you just broke through the cynicism meter here.”
“Well,
guess what? I’m not kidding. And frankly, I’m content and generally happy. At
the end of the day, it works for me. And really, that's all anyone can ask for
in a relationship. Whatever works for you.”
“But
what if you find out?”
“Well,
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that never happens.”
Photo
taken here.
