Five Ways to Enjoy a Crappy Movie

After writing my piece on the Top 10 Things Wrong with Mainstream Philippine Cinema, I gleaned from most of the comments posted that I need not have limited my article to movies from the Philippines since, apparently, the world is full of stupid, crappy movies.  Which begs the following questions:  why is the world full of stupid, crappy movies?  If they are so stupid and crappy in the first place, why do they keep getting made?  Why do people keep watching them?  By patronizing stupid and crappy movies, are people, therefore, stupid and crappy by extension?

Perfectly valid questions of course, all of which will not be answered by this post.  Instead, I propose that we stop fighting the tidal wave of general crappiness that is bound to wash over us, and just learn to enjoy the ride.  In preparation for such an event, here are five ways we can enjoy ourselves at the movies even if the movie is something we probably shouldn't watch in the first place.

The First Morning I Did Not Think About You

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It was a typical morning. I woke up, late as usual, the sun already near its zenith, its rays streaming through half-open blinds, the day as hot and as humid as it can be. I forgot to turn off the TV. A Discovery channel host was talking about whales, his voice a deep, monotonous drone.

People are Made Up of Stories

Image taken here.

Dear Fickle Cattle,

I'm a new fan of your blog.  I haven't even browsed through each tab and entry yet.  I just saw a link from a friend in FB to your blog and I became an instant fan after I read your open letter.  Honestly, I cried, I could relate to it so much.  I hope you don't mind my telling this story. 

I Don't Think I'll Die Today At Least. Hopefully.

Image taken here.

I don’t go to the doctor.  At least, not voluntarily.  In fact, the only time you can make me go to a physician is when I’m in enough pain that I start dreaming about death.  And even then I’ll probably need to be unconscious so you can carry my limp carcass to his clinic.   

Top 10 Things Wrong With Mainstream Philippine Cinema

1. Most Filipino movies do not have characters, they have caricatures.
Characters in Filipino movies are usually ripped right off the pages of Scriptwriting 101 and are rarely based on real people. There’s the Cheating Husband, the Long Suffering Wife/Mother/Female Figure, the Vile Mistress, the Kontrabida (“Villain”), the Young Ingénue, the Love Team, the Macho Playboy Action Hero, the Sidekick, the Poor Virtuous Hero/Heroine who Triumphs Over Everything, the Rebellious Teen, the Precocious Child etc. etc.  I particularly loathe the Sidekick who apparently has nothing better to do with his or her life except to follow and comment on the lead characters’ lives.

Thoughts on Fashion Photography and Real Life (A Reaction to Yolanda Dominguez's "Poses")

Images found here.

Yolanda Dominguez is a visual artist and performer from Madrid.  I ran across her work, Poses, from an interview of Yolanda Dominguez by a blogger here, and I thought it was one of the most interesting performance art pieces I have seen in a while.

To the 13 Year Old Boy Who Shot His 17 Year Old Lover at the Mall (Notes on a Murder-Suicide)

Image taken here.

It was with a peculiar, and perhaps less than noble, fixation that I read about your crime.  A crime which was extraordinarily morbid, and sensational.  And I gathered the following details: You were thirteen years old. You stole a .22 caliber pistol.  You wrote a suicide letter; short, but it got the message across.  You went to SM City Mall, Pampanga.  You met your seventeen year old lover in front of the Astrovision store in the mall's Building 3.  You shot him in the head.  The bullet lodged in his brain and left him brain dead.  You then turned the gun on yourself and pulled the trigger.